Wake up!

Waking up from a failure is hard..some people may not wake up at
all..others still crawling..and a few are already standing and ready
to run....it's different how they react towards a downfall for
different people..but one thing is that they all know they have to
wake up and get on with life..that's reality but they still refuse to
accept it..why is this?

Past is still past..u can't change that and u can't let it go..that
part of your life happen and u can deny that...u have to accept the
past and brace it.." that is past. I feel it and im aware of it but
now i need to put it aside to create more memory that i can feel in
this world." so why do I see many people trying hard to forget the
past..why let this particular part of your memory stop u from living?
U control your own life..it's u who determine everything...It's all in
the mind..

I also do have failure in my life..if not I wouldn't be at this state
of success..I learn from those failure and mistake..that's
experience..it teaches u more..having to experience it yourself is
much better than to learn it by theory..
I accept that failure and brace it then I put it aside so that I can
focus more on the time I have now to create my success...

Honestly, from time to time I would always remember my failure...I
think it for awhile..definitely there are regrets..I thought of
possibilities that failure doesn't occur...that's normal for every
human..u can't turn back time..but then I put that memory aside and
continue with life..I wouldn't want to be drown in my past..

Like always I would say..everything happens with a reason..maybe u did
something wrong maybe the effort is not hard enough..the point is that
there is always a reason for everything that happens....

I have to continuosly to remind myself- " wake up! It's now or
never..u have to make it up to yourself..prove it to yourself..I don't
want anymore regrets!"..self motivation from time to time..u have to
believe in yourself first before others can believe u..

Bitter yet sweet

Hola!

So what is this? :D

haha..I think from first look u can guess it's
chocolate..yes..specifically it's dark chocolate..

I love chocolate! To me chocolate sometimes like express endorphin :)
just one bite and u be happy..I know I do...the first taste of the
chocolate will directly curve your lips into a smile..because of the
sweetness..

have u ever tried eating chocolate with a sad smile?..it won't
happen..immediately u will definitely smile..to me I think because
sweetness is something positive then it will give u good vibes :) but
dark chocolate is a bit bitter? Yes..but scientifically it's much
better to eat dark chocolate even if it's bitter!

So what can a dark chocolate give except for the bitter taste? :D I
say plenty..I google a bit and got to this!

1. Lower cholestrol level
2. Rich in minerals like magnesium and copper which regulates normal
blood pressure and maintain proper heartbeat levels
3. Rich in antioxidant
4. Cures depression
And more!

What I'm trying to say is that people may look at chocolate as
something evil because too much of it can make u fat! True! The high
consumption of chocolate is a no good..so please don't take for
granted of what the benefits that chocolate can gives u by over
consuming it :)

Yeah..dark chocolate is bitter but the benefits that it gives is
definitely sweeeeet! ;D

That's it for now!

. . . . .

This is to that someone. Hey u! I don't know if u read my blog or
anything but I just hope u do so u know that this post is dedicated to
u. I'm sorry if I offended u in any way whether it's my words or my
act. I'm so sorry. Sorry seems to be the hardest word. To me it's not.
It may take awhile for u to cool down. But I am indeed sorry. Why do I
give a damn about this? I don't even know u. But I DO CARE.

I'm not here to judge u. But from my first impression of u, I can see
that u are focus, determine and professional. The way u handle and
explain things. It's very convincing.

U know a very personal and deep information about me that even with
the closest person I know I don't talk about this. But u, whom I don't
even know, never been close to and practically a stranger to me knows
this very personal things about me. It means alot. I do care. This is
not small things that I would normally forget the day after.

Honestly, after u explain to me all about this I was dumbstrucked. I
don't know how to react to that situation because I wasn't aware with
details of me. But u fill me in with that. Thank u. I wouldn't know if
it weren't for u. I don't think this as a scam or anything. Others
might but not me. I took this seriously.

The day after u told me I skipped my physic class that morning. Those
words were still lingering around my head. I just couldn't focus. I
needed space to think. Alone. What u said really effects me. To me it
was something serious. It was about me. I believe u.

I really want to join u. I know it's worthwhile. But there are other
things that are much important than my condition now. I can't explain
to u. Not like this. I hate to dissapoint u. I wish u could understand.

U have been working really hard lately. I can see that u are focus and
very passionate in your work. Thank u for caring. In this bussiness
not everybody going to believe u so u got to be ready to face
rejections. Just never let it slows u down. Never give up on hope. I
never have doubt about this.

There's this quotation that I always tell myself but I don't know if
it will work for u. Just hope so too. " when hope is hungry everything
feeds it"

Hopefully, someday I can.

Somebody's me

So today post is nothing much. I'm feeling a bit sad. This song that I
currently listening kind of goes with the mood. Chillin in the room ,
looking out the window, thinking with my earphone plugged in and
listening to this song.

'Enrique iglesias- somebody's me'

So here is part of the song. I think I heard it right. I can't upload
any video since I am posting through my phone. E-mail :) sorry

Somebody wants you,
Somebody needs you,
Somebody dreams about you every single night,
Somebody can't breathe, without you its lonely,
Somebody hopes that someday u will see,
That somebody's me.

Never heard? Then hurry up and google it! :)

U are making a big fuss out of it!

Ha! Did I get your attention? :)

If u are in a fight with someone due to some misunderstanding..what
would u do? Even if that person blames u and think it's your fault
while u know that it's just a misunderstanding between both of
u..should u be angry too and fight back to stand your rights? I say
NO...we are human sometimes we are just blinded with our feelings..the
only way is to just calm down and think with sanity..

Personally i think they have all the right to get angry..it's their
feelings..first we cant control it..and secondly, we have no right to
stop it...it's not ours...

For the person who gets the blame :-
[in my opinion]
Don't make things complicated to solve..let it cool first..it may take
a minute or it may take longer for some person...longer if that person
trusted u but that person think that u violate her or his trust...or u
had more than once dissappoint that person..or etc.. After awhile try
to talk it out..it may be hard at first..but that person got to know
the truth..

For the person who is angry :-
[in my opinion]
we cannot be judgemental...there are always reason for everything that
happen..we have to think possibilities that can occur..at this point
think with your brain not with your feelings...feelings sometimes can
be overwhelming...take some time to straight it out..ask if u are not
clear..but also let the other person to speak out....and try to listen..

So sometimes people just can't accept the truth...because the truth
can sometimes hurt..so they rather be blinded by false statement to
avoid pain...yeah..reality bites..but that's the fact..

It's only natural to get angry over things...u are not human if u
never felt it...but..u have to learn to control it...don't make
assumptions..just get the truth...sometimes the truth hurts but
conquer it...Even I have anger management problem...I don't know where
to throw my anger at..sometimes I let it flow and be seen by
others..but I also kept it to myself so it sinks in me and that how we
got stress..

Seriously this call for a change of attitude.. :) do any of u want
this fight to go on and on and on for a period of time?...definitely
no..u can't live like this..we live in a community that we interact
with..that is living...

just because of a misunderstanding would u rather let the bond be
buried?

Is the radio on?

Hi!

So what is this? A tv? Nope..it's a radio..well it's not mine..I
google it.. :)

I'm not talking about the radio..how many people actually listen to
radio these days? From what I see people rely more on tv..back in the
days when tv is in black and white, radio is a source of
entertaiment..music!.people sing, dance and laugh with the
song...personally, I also do not listen to the radio often.. :)

I like to download the songs that I listen from the radio and keep it
in my mp4..after that listen to it for a couple times then I wouldn't
listen to it..but when the song comes through the radio it doesn't
matter whether I have it in my mp4 like for ages but I would actually
listen to it...I wouldn't change the station..I actually listen from
the beginning till the end..weird..if I were to listen to it in my mp4
I would skip to another song..but why the opposite am I doing? :)

Ok..I'm talking crap again.. ;) well..I don't know when exactly I'll
be posting again..so this might be the last for now that is..unless I
get a hand on Internet again.. :)

Thank u for reading my blog readers! :) I hope u find it amusing :)
enjoy!

Back to school

School memories are the one we're going to treasure all the
time..eventhough at that time we might just hated school the most..I
know I did at one time because of something... But really after being
out of school u will definitely miss it...all the tantrum we throw at
school..from not doing homework to skipping class with friends..sounds
bad right? :) hehe..well kids don't do this..but those are in fact my
memories..and I will treasure them..sometimes it's bitter but there
are sweet moments..

If I were asked to do it again with friends from school...I would..I
have no regrets...school memories are one of the best! (: specifically
high school memories..for me..

Well I have no pictures to show because I'm posting through my phone!
Ain't it sad? But it's ok I guess atleast I get to update my blog...so
back to the main topic..I accidently stumble upon the school year
book...OMG..haha..suddenly this overwhelming feeling of sadness crept
in me..yeah..I missed school..in fact very much..and it's like a flash
back in time.. (:

I live in Ttdi...done all the schooling there...from kindergarten to
primary and not to forget secondary...but I transferred school in the
year 2008 to MRSM tun ghafar baba..is it a mistake?

No :)..eventhough I know truly deep in my heart that I could do so
much better if I were still in Ttdi...if I were in Ttdi..I will still
play for the school handball team (for 4 years)..I will still have a
position in school....I will go for a tuition for the subject
additional mathematics and a bright chance that I can get better
result in this subject for my SPM....I could do so much better...but
being in Ttdi is my comfort zone..is this regrets? Yes but not
actually yes..I enjoy being a part of smkttdi..even if it's for
awhile..I like the school spirit..we are very strong when we are
together...I can see that clearly...

I remember going to practices for handball on the afternoon, even on
weekends...the sweetest memory is when we all 'panjat tembok sekolah'
to hangout at the mamak stall after practice..we also 'panjat pagar'
to go in the school compound on weekends because the school is
locked...haha..I didn't expect myself to do it...but it was fun..those
are good memories.. (:

Seriously..I need to push myself..because I can do better...so being a
part of a community at TGB was an amazing experience..I wouldn't trade
it for anything....I learn great values of
life..friendship..hardship..independent...I never been in a boarding
school before and that was the first...I was trying hard to adapt with
the new situation and environment...but I survived through 2 years..I
experience many things..I gain many knowledge especially
spiritually..I guess it made me more mature..hopefully.. :) I enjoy
it...

I remember a memory from the past when there was a huge inspection..I
brought my phone with me and we were all running everywhere trying to
find a place to hide our phone..hehe..fortunately my phone has never
been caught yet..never..I was very lucky :) being in tgb was fun..I
met many people..from different..erm..'negeri'..from
kedah,perak,terengganu and many more....

So people..enjoy school days...savour every moment... :)

Believing

Scent, touch and taste..

Are one of that stimulates our senses..or even deeper which is
stimuli..if I'm not mistaken :D hehe..( again, I just can't remember
what I learnt before since I'm not taking biology anymore)

Well I'm not going to talk about science here :)..so, people only
believe and trust what they see and what they hear..but what if u
cannot see or hear anything? How do u aspect to trust people then? I
guess what's left is to feel that u can trust them..

Here I'm going to share to u, quoted from the book "Tuesdays with
morrie" written by mitch albom..

If u know then at page 61..
"sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what
you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you,
you must feel that you can trust them too- even when you're in the
dark. Even when you're falling."

It's true..sometimes it's not always about what u see..what u feel
that plays an important role also...feeling not by touch or scent or
anything..but u have to feel through your heart..

Heal me

So what am I going to write today? :)

as u can see from the picture that is a medicine given to me when I
had a fever..fyi that is panadol..or paracetemol ( is that how u spell
it? -.- erm..I'm not a medic student..I'm in engineering..hehe)

I'm not here to talk about the medicine..but what's stated on it..
" when I'm ill it is He who cures me" :) one of a kind .don't u think
so?..u can only get this at iium..no clinic that I known wrote like
that on any of their medicine..hehe..definitely..

So the moral of the story here is that beside taking the medicine u
got to have faith that it is God who will cure u from this illness,
from this pain...there are reasons for everything that happens to us
whether it's good or bad...for Islam we look at illness that falls on
us as to cleanse ourself from our sins..

Personally..to me..whenever I get sick I just felt utter
happiness...because I know that Allah acknowledge me..He notice
me..thank u Allah..i sometimes get scared if Allah is never want to
look at me..never want to listen to me..i've sin..im not that good..i
still know what's wrong and not..how do i say this..hurmm..masih ada
kesedaran..thank u for that..some people are just swept away and
blinded by their sin..fortunately I am still sane..I'm not a religious
person..and that's the truth but I am desperately trying to improve..

Everybody knows they are going to die but they just wouldn't believe
it..and that's a fact we know by the look of it today..everyone is
just too occupied with the world..I hope that one day that will change..

Today post was just my thoughts..my feelings..that I express in
words..sometime u can't fully translate it into words..and thoughts
are left as thoughts..

Lemony lemon

I went out the other day..went to this restaurant to eat and ordered
a plain water..they added a slice of lemon in it..I often wonder why
most of the restaurant I been to they add a slice of lemon in your
plain water or even in carbonated drinks..especially if u ordered coca
cola or pepsi...why is this?

Well i actually dont know why..but I think it's because drinking lemon
water benefits u...perhaps?

FYI :-

1. it does help to remove toxins from your system.

2. eliminate heartburn and indigestion

3. Regular use - promotes bowel function which eliminate constipation

4. Alleviate nausea and hiccups

5. Lemons are natural antiseptic

6. Contains high vitamin C that assists in healing wound and relieving
allergies

7. Lemon natural diuretic which flush bacteria from kidney and bladder

This is from what I read..I seriously don't know why I talked about
this..hehe..I'm not loosing me marbles! I just have nothing normal to
do this holiday :D

U are addicted..NO..u are obsess.what??

Addiction is closely related to obsession..true?

From what i read actually addiction and obsession is completely
different..people may get confuse and thought it as the same at
first..well I did..hehe..if u are not obsess of it how did u get
addicted then?I am wrong indeed...hehe.. :D

Addiction can harm u while obsession don't..OBSESSION it only occupies
u..it occupy your time maybe..your life..so what if when the obsession
ends? What happen? Do u get physically or mentally ill after that?
NOPE... U don't..and that's the fact..it's like when u are obsess with
one singer or a game..so when the singer dies or something will u also
be affected? No..u won't..u might just felt sad but not that will lead
u to any physically or mentally harm..

while ADDICTION on the other hand may harm u..mentally and
physically..yes..like when u get addicted to smoke or drugs..that's
just bad..from my experience smoking does not benefit u in any
way..well u will definitely say that it can give a peace of mind..does
not matter if it's only for awhile..all addiction start out as
BEHAVIOUR that makes us feel good and takes away our focus on what
makes us feel bad.. but when u feel like u want to quit, u wish and
should yet u just can't because what u once control ,now control u..
After the first time u taken drug or smoke you may want to do it
again, and again and again until one day when u feel like doing it and
it's not present, your body begins to collapse..your brain feels that
something is missing and that drug is the key to normality.. Such
horror don't u think? :D indeed..

Fyi , addiction is like a behavioral disease that grows stronger over
time..

This is just part of my lite reading on addiction vs obsession..
(during holidays..seriously nothing to do) ..this psychology thing is
really cool..and getting on me..I'm amazed and intrigued...

well happy reading though :D

This is maru

If u googled the word "maru" ..it will definitely lead u to a cute
round cat named maru..a Scottish fold breed..from japan.. :D I may say
that this cat is definitely one of a kind...he got popular from
YouTube..probably his owner uploaded video of his cute and funny
act.. :D you'll be entertained..like I did..this definitely heals the
heart..my weakness..

The tale of the golden mushroom

once there lived a happy family at persiaran zaaba tmn tun dr.
Ismail... There was a married couple with a daughter and a son..both
of their child are schooling..practically in high school.. :)

so one day a mushroom had grown at the wooden side of the door of the
toilet..it wasn't any ordinary mushroom..it was bright golden in
colour and there was two! Could this meant anything? Nobody knows...
The family were left with questions..fortunately the grandfather had
possible answers..he said 'maybe something good is coming'..in a form
of what they do not know...but it was definitely good..well everything
happens for a reason... :)

So what happen next? Hehe..in the year 1992..the year of the
monkey..the family was gifted with a baby girl..well the baby is not
biologically related..the mother of the baby could not raise the
baby...so with responsibility and care of the woman of the family she
took the risk to raise the child just like her own..after
months..around the month of may..the family was gifted yet again with
a baby girl..both have similar problem concerning with money..the kind
hearted woman decided to raise this baby also...so the woman then
adopts both of the babies..ooooo...the golden mushroom are like
signs..could this be good?

So could this be double trouble or double happiness? Different people
have different view..u may say it's a nuisance ..but maybe in between
it's actually fortune..everything that happens have its own reasons.. :D

Gosh..holidays..

I slept like a log! -_-" err..well..isn't it holidays suppose to be
like this.. Hehe...and not to forget afternoon nap :D it's been
awhile.. I miss it! So at night I'll be a night owl but because I
have nothing to do I just sleep it off! Ooo..really bad.. :( what kind
of a holiday is this????!!! Seriously people.. I need a hobby..

Well how do I say this...hurmn..I am physically over rest but I am
emotionally tired.... :) I know..I am weird...

I wonder what people do during their holidays..travelling? So
typical..then if not travelling is it not considered a holiday? -_-"..
Well if we are not to travel? So what to do on holidays?somebody!save
me from this boredom..

So after days of thinking...I finally got an idea on what to do this
holiday..aha! :D I decided to make my own scrapbook..on what?
Hehe..don't be shocked! :D

I want to do a scrapbook on my mum's cooking..the recipe..how she done
it..especially on my favourite dishes..hehe..so in the book I will
also draw a little..easily to remember and understood hopefully..well
I'm the only one whose going to read it so what do I care if anybody
can't read my handwritting! :p hahaha..(evil laugh)..well my
handwritting is not that bad..maybe if I'm kind enough I might share
some info from the scrapbook... :D hehe we'll see..

Perfect conversation ?

I may seem like a quiet person but really I enjoy a real
conversation..especially if the person I know or might just
comfortable to talk with..

real conversation? What do I mean by that?hurmm...I seriously don't
know..it can be any conversation on any topic..but I guess what's
important is the chemistry..whether the listener actually listen to
u..And whether u actually talking to the person...that's just my
perception :D I don't know about u..

Having a conversation makes me feel happy..they acknowledge me..it can
be any conversation about..like school or families....what I'm trying
to say is that I really enjoy real conversation..it's interaction with
people..I sometime prefer the silent but secretly I just love to
talk...I like to know what people think...what u say is normally parts
of your thoughts right? :D

Talking somehow lessen the burden u are feeling..tension or
stress..for a moment u feel at ease..for me I think it's because the
interaction between people..u don't feel miserable and lonely at the
same time..u feel miserable but definitely not lonely.. :) it's two
different feeling..u don't want to feel that way..so it's important to
have people around u..
Unfortunately the world is not fill with friendly people
anymore..people are not so nice anymore...

Sometime it's the person we don't know we could have a real talk
with..like for me when I go to the hospital to accompany my
mum...while waiting for her I constantly met someone..an old woman
especially waiting for her turn..so they would usually talk to me
first..well to be kind I would reply back..so there where it
started..the conversation..at first awkward but u get used to it...u
get comfortable.. :) sometime people just want some company...I kind
of understand that feeling...

So if there is nobody to turn to then who are we suppose to turn to?