home sweet home

im not generous in shedding some tears..i cant cry..i dont even want to...so i usually put on the brave face..crying to me only makes me feel weak....not a favourable feeling..i hate feeling weak..feeling vulnerable...gaaaaahhh...

lately..im been feeling really uptight..emotion swirling...total chaos...u really dont want to come close...5 meter? nope..thats just to close...u can definitely feel the vibe..to friends and family..haha.. u know me..  

I've been keeping it to myself for a week then ....puuuffftftttf..explode..ggggggaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh..my insides are pouring...damn..so much pain...

Since i was 15 i never felt home exactly like home...home was suppose to make u feel safe...feel happy...like its the only place where u can find peace...because supposedly there is where your family are...and friends...

So, ever since i went to boarding school i just want to go home..but not exactly the home that i am staying...just want to go back..so bad... anywhere will do..as long as its not my home..i may sound like a trouble kid who plans to runaway...that thought did cross my mind sometimes...but the same i never had the guts to really runaway from home..im just a teenage that time..give me a break...

Now im practically 18..still the same feeling conquer me...i dont feel home even when im at home....very depressing.. i wish i had a place where i truly can feel safe..happy..peace.. 

i wish i had a home... a real home...

working..done that :P

Secret Recipe….i worked there before…and that was 4 months ago…

Secret Recipe…a popular shop that sell the “Finest Quality Cakes”…hehe..promote…

Presenting the staff of Secret Recipe BU2 (4 month ago):-

MR MANAGER

MR FONG!

MISS SUPERVISOR

KAK ZA!

KITCHEN LEADER

MAMI =)

MISS CAKE COUNTER

                           RAJA PUTERI ;P

MR BARISTA

ARIL

MR SO CALLED CHRIS BROWN

                                               ABI!

AND ALSO NOT TO FORGET THE HARDWORKING WAITRESS…..ME~! ;pHEHEHEH..i miss them…i miss working on weekend when we all get tired of waiting for the customer to go when its take away time…i miss the humour there…i miss helping out at the kitchen…i miss going lunch with puteri…i miss mr fong sarcasm…i miss aril annoyingness…i miss kak za asking me to treat her always…i miss abi caringness towards me….i miss mami cheeky character…i miss earning alot of overtime…;Phmmmmmm

life lesson 101

I read a book yesterday…im sure most of u had heard about that book already…

“Tuesdays with Morrie” by mitch albom..one of my favourite book…there are many inspirational and life lesson quotation..so i thought of sharing..if it can boost up my spirit when its down then im sure it will do the same to u..

 

when u read this try to ponder for awhile..

“So many people walk around with meaningless life.They seem half asleep, even when they are busy doing things they think are important. This is because they are chasing the wrong things.”

“The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”

“Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too—even when you are in the dark.Even when you are falling.”

“Everyone knows they are going to die, but nobody believes it.”

“Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.”

There are many more..if these lines catch your eye and touch your heart it is much better if you read the book for yourself…i was overwhelmed when i read it..almost cried also..hehe..i will try to put more of this quotes for all to read and hope it will bring back the spirit in u..to live..

crush like rocks

There you go making my heart beat again heart beat again heart beat again
There you go making me feel like a kid wont you do it do it one time
There you go pulling me right back in right back in right back in
And I know I’m never letting this go
I’m stuck on you
Whoa oh whoa oh
Stuck like glue you and me baby were stuck like glue
Whoa oh whoa oh
Stuck like glue you and me baby were stuck like glue

 haha..:D this song been stuck in my head for the past 1 week..hmph..if only it was like that..although dreams are made to come true..in this case i just have to accept reality…stop pretending..it didnt even started there is no hope even for it to grow… 

i never been like this…being single have always felt ok..coz I’ve got friends and family..i dont feel lonely..i dont feel hurt…when i heard that…i just stop hoping..it hit me hard..

I expected better…so i wont be that disappointed..seriously??? hmph..i guess if that makes u happy..then its alright to let go……u never get to know that i..used to…

blablablabla

This is my third blog..haha..the first one i created i have forget about it until i created my second blog..first it was wordpress then xanga and finally blogspot :D

hope i can maintain this blog compared to my other two blogs..hehe..

now..im practically alone in my hostel..alone here in pj while all my friends are at home with family to celebrate hari raya..boohoo..:(..i had to..because i hope not to repeat the same mistake i did in TGB..i did not push myself to my limit..i didnt even exceed it..not even close..and this is where it takes me... in all of this commotion i am utterly grateful that i was still given the chance to avenged myself.. all in all i just need to get good grades and pointer..i mean really good...

so that is why im still here...huhu..i dont want to look back and regret that i hadnt taken the chance...its alright even if i fall but atleast i tried :D