hear me out..please

there just a few unhappy things i wrote in this blog..that doesnt show at all that i am fully happy with my life..honestly..i am so weak..now easily get teared up of few sensitive things that wasnt a bother before..damn..i hate this part of me..cause i dont want to admit defeat to that selfish good for nothing jerk..im sorry for my vulgar words but i am really angry..i felt like exploding..years of holding in..its always the same excuse..man, i am tired of it..my mind cant adapt to that anymore..maybe because of this i am sooo lazy right now..i should be doing my physic and chemistry..i just feel down...i hate him..i really2 hate him..this feeling will never change...he brought this up to himself..now he is the one that have accept this..cause he never ever going to change.. such a disappointment..i felt i cant live through this life knowing that he will always be there sucking the life out of me..taking my happiness..and thats the main reason that i dont want to go home.. i written about "home sweet home"..this is why..he is the main reason of all..

even before he got sick he still think only for himself..when it comes to family nothing..when it was stranger he was as generous...i remember everything..its like he wanted to make his own family his enemy..yes i am definitely your enemy no! Satisfied!!!???

how long i must go through this?how long must my family go through this? they always say its ok he wont be long so be patient..yes (the same excuse)..but we are only human how long can we put up with this???God...give me strength to live.......i use to think of taking my own life....to that extend that i cant take it anymore...i might just do it..please..please hear me..

the pain is indescribable.. heart breaking