im dying~!

what will u do if u were told that u are going to die? a message or a phone call from the unknown...maybe a message from the grave? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO PLAY GOD??? your not even close...

i wouldnt care if this thing happen (the message)...cause i know its a prank..i dont know how he or she got my number...but yeah you are talking about someone else death here dude...you totally have no right to do that!

so the question is am i dying?? yes...im always dying...even now...every hour every minute till the very second of the day i am indeed dying..everybody is also dying its just that they dont know when they are going to die...actually die...why take death as sad thing? u are a step closer to meeting back your creator..Allah swt..why do we felt fear in our heart? this obviously because we ARE NOT READY to face the judgement..with all our sins..we are just not ready..life on earth is the priority making our duty to God second..some people just completely forget..my mum always says the earth is a temporarily place for a traveller like us rest and take our supply for the journey to the real place where we stay there forever( translated by me :D sorry for the lame expression, my mum's one is much better)...

ooo...being religious lately?im MYSELF is not perfect..i have so many flaws..but  i sometime wonder about death..i may not get to say goodbye...i may not have much time..but i am trying..indeed trying to be as good as i can be...look at me God...dont forget me..dont look away..i dont want to be lost..all i can say for now is just repent..ponder awhile..

are you really ready?

i am so mad about 'pink' these days

As u can see here im not actually into the colour pink and practically not mad at pink the celebrity :D
i like all her new songs..very2 nice..so this is one of it..boohoo..havent download it yet..so have to go to the cc just to listen..:( pity me..the wifi here is so dissapointing..so dont even get your hope that high..:D
with this is the lyrics for this song..:) and sorry for the vulgar words in the song...well its not mine..its her~!

Made a wrong turn

Once or twice

Dug my way out

Blood and fire

Bad decisions

That's alright

Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated, misplaced, missundaztood

Miss "no way it's all good"

It didn't slow me down

Mistaken

Always second guessing

Underestimated

Look, I'm still around...

Pretty, pretty please

Don't you ever, ever feel

Like your less than

Fuckin' perfect

Pretty, pretty please

If you ever, ever feel

Like your nothing

You're fuckin' perfect to me

You're so mean

When you talk

About yourself

You are wrong

Change the voices

In your head

Make them like you

Instead

So complicated

Look how big you'll make it

Filled with so much hatred

Such a tired game

It's enough

I've done all I can think of

Chased down all my demons

See you same

Pretty, pretty please

Don't you ever, ever feel

Like your less than

Fuckin' perfect

Pretty, pretty please

If you ever, ever feel

Like your nothing

You're fuckin' perfect to me

The world stares while I swallow the fear

The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer

So cool in lying and I tried tried

But we try too hard, it's a waste of my time

Done looking for the critics, cuz they're everywhere

They don't like my genes, they don't get my hair

Stringe ourselves and we do it all the time

Why do we do that?

Why do I do that?

Why do I do that?

Ooh, pretty pretty pretty,

Pretty pretty please don't you ever ever feel

Like you're less then, fuckin' perfect

Pretty pretty please if you ever ever feel

Like you're nothing you're fuckin' perfect, to me

You're perfect

You're perfect

Pretty, pretty please don't you ever ever feel like you're less then, fucking perfect

Pretty, pretty please if you ever ever feel like you're nothing you're fucking perfect to me

goodbye for now peeps~!';)

Aging...a wonderful experience..

haa..biase la..bila perut dah penuh mata pun berat...berblogging la nampaknya..haish..nak buat macam mana?nasi ayam tadi pun sedap jugak..yela..dah lama mengidam..hehe.. :D entah macam mana..teringat pulak ni..apa2 yang terfikir pasti akan ditulis dalam notes dan diletakkan dalam blog..macam ini...
saya dilahirkan pada 3 mei 1992...birthday saya lagi 4 bulan dan tepat2 3 minggu..tolong ingat ye..please...aik..apa hal bahasa melayu lagi??mencuba sesuatu yang lain..its normal..saja2 mempelbagaikan blog ini..mungkin2 nanti dalam bahasa arab pulak..nanti2kan ye..eh..dah melencong pulak..:D yang nak diceritakan sebenarnya ialah cumalah kenangan2...pieces of it..that i can remember...about my birthday..istimewa sangat ke hari lahir?hurmm..kalau family dan kawan2 ingat mestilah special..

3/5/2010- saya baru 18...waa..akhirnya..bukan budak skolah dah ye..;p masa ni dah berhenti kerja dah...tak dapat la makan kek orang kat secret recipe blanja..:( tapi terima kasih ye raja puteri belanja kek white-dark chocolate cheesecake kot..saya tak ingat dah namanya..heee..:D walaupun puteri belanja lambat skit tak apa kerana ingat..sayang kamu~!

sedap tak? :D yumyum..

pada hari itu..sya kakak saya belanja makan kat secret recipe..kami kongsi2..main course beef lasagne..air oreo  milkshake kesukaan ramai kanak2..haha..seperti saya juga..dan desert brownies walnut dengan vanilla ice cream...kalau letak gambar ni nanti terliur pulak kamu semua.. :p haish memenuhkan perut je pada hari itu..mama seperti yang dijanjikan bagi rm100..ok la..duit..siapa tak nak? afiqah..ada bagi patung ni..walaupun lambat bagi tapi sangat menghargai..buat masa ni tak dapat fikir lagi nama untuk si patung ini..:D dan ditambahkan lagi dengan wishes di facebook dan sms dari kawan menjadikan birthday pada hari itu sangat la bahagia..

terima kasih pika~!

2/5/2009 @ 3/5/2010 - masa ni form 5..yay..dah 17..akhirnya..hehe..saya balik rumah untuk cuti..walaupun skejap tapi ok la..sya pun balik dari kuantan..mama cadangkan buat makan2...sempena untuk menyambut juga la..tapi terpaksa dibuat awal kerana esoknya pada 3/5 dah kena balik asrama...haish..nasib2..malam itu ajakla jiran..kawan..keluarga datang..tak ramai tapi kami2 je dah seronok..:D kawan2 yang dikasihi pun datang..aisyah,pika,aida..boleh pulak main2 sorok2 macam kecik2 dulu..haish..good times..hadiah untuk tahun itu ialah patung lembu bulat yang juga dinamakan "LEMBU"...amat bulat dan comel..terima kasih ye sya.aisyah,aida and pika..so happy..

lembu kesayangan~!

3/5/2008 - masa ini saya masih lagi dibangku sekolah..wa..sweet 16..baru masuk mrsm..tak pernah2 duduk jauh dari family terpaksa juga akhirnya..tahun ni sambut kat sekolah je..sedih dan juga gembira...sedih sebab tak ada kek macam selalu..huhu..tapi gembira sebab sheikh muszaphar datang sekolah..hahah :D ceh..macam tahu2 je birthday saya...haha..tak ada la..dan roomate mase tu pun sangat2 baik...bagi kad dan hadiah..walaupun macam baru je kenal tapi dah rapat sangat rasa..even budak2 wing sebelah pun wish..bilik FA02 dan FA03...terima kasih ye semua bagi coklat tu..dah la masa tu tengah study..coklat itu habis dimakan oleh saya..sangat sedap..takkan saya lupa..:D

hmm..ini sahaja lah yang nak diceritakan sebenarnya..berkongsi kegembiraan daripada kenangan yang lepas.. :D harap tahun depan orang2 masih ingat lagi...semakin tua semakin matang..harap2 la ye..insya-Allah..

Mama tersayang :D

untuk post kali ni di khaskan untuk mama TERSAYANG....hahah... bahasa melayu??erk?..iye....biasanya yes...yela2..mama saya amat menitik beratkan bahasa ibunda...jadi untuk post untuk mama tulis dalam bahasa melayu la ye...hahah..nampak amat pelik.. :D saya memang pelik pun...

Assalamualaikum pembuka bicara...:) 

 hari ni sangat bahagia...bukan apa tapi semua kelas hari ni habis awal..macam arab dan fizik..kimia tu tak boleh la..tapi tidak apa..yang nak dikatakan sebenarnya tengahari tadi dapat sms dari mama..jarang2 nak dapat...maklumlah mama di rumah pun sibuk..saya disini pun makin sibuk... sms berbunyi begini..

"As'kum  baby mama camna? sibuk belajar x pe relax jgn stres sgt. Ini hanya dunia syg. Tapi klu x solat tu mama sedeh anyak doa pd Allah

InsyaAllah Allah akan akan mendengar doa hambanya. love u."

bagaimana? ada faham tak? untuk pengetahuan semua mama saya kurang nampak..jadi smsnya kalau orang yang tak mengenali dirinya mungkin tidak akan faham..contohnya besok akan jadinya berok...hahah...

1 sms ni mampu membuat saya tersenyum lebar sepanjang kelas tadi...mungkin ini yang ditunggu2 oleh saya...amat merindui mama yang di rumah..mungkin sebab itu saya merasakan tidak bersemangat dan murung...haish...maklumlah saya ni kan anak bongsu..dan juga anak mama :D..amat bangga menyatakan itu..hahah 

bagaimana? cantik tak? hehe..pandai ye saya memilih...ini diari islam saya beli masa FESTIVEN kat uia..harganya tak mahal sangat dan tak murah sangat..mampu untuk seorang pelajar seperti saya beli..ha? saya? simpan diari?diari islam?ceh..tak..ni untuk dihadiahkan kepada mama TERSAYANG...memandangkan diari mama termasuk dalam mesin basuh dan habis rosak..macam mana boleh masuk? saya pun tidak tahu...mungkin ada hikmahnya..:D terus je nampak diari ni teringat kat mama..apa lagi? terus saya beli.. nanti balik untuk cuti saya akan bagi..mama pasti akan suka..dalam diari ni ada macam2..doa..kalendar..hadis..banyak la..macam buku jugaklah sebab dapat baca...dan tulis.. :D love u mama...

rasanya ini sahaja yang nak dikatakan...nak kongsi kegembiraan la kan.. :D ...harap2 masa cuti ada laptop kat rumah..dapat lah meng-update-kan blog..

 baiklah..masa untuk mengulangkaji.. ( maaflah diatas kecacatan bahasa..biasalah..bahasa rojak/pasar..)  itu sahaja dari saya untuk kali ni..tata~!

Emotion best shown than said

heals the heart

one of the things that make me really happy the most is cats...i love them..i used to have loads of them...but they are gone.. :( i miss them..my babies kittos...for u kittos...

huhu...so cute... look at those eyes...round face..this is not mine though....hehe..well today was not much of a post...just the thought of the cats make me really happy...

Nostalgia :D

Believe in me

"We believe in u..yes..u can do it..." those are the words from my
eldest sister after we know the result of my 2nd sis..she got another
4.0..so expected..I'm not even surprised..well..she is indeed super
smart..well..I believe in her..everybody believe in her that she could
do it..that she could make it...everybody..just one look and they will
say she will definitely make it....

I remember..a memory from the past..quite bitter..I hate
comparison..it is just not fair sometime...they never fully believe
that I could make it...never..I was just too average..what can u hope
for?in the year 2007..I was taking my pmr examination that year..also
when he got sick..my dad..life was hard..it felt as though the clouds
are closing on us and there will be no light and rains
constantly..that gloomy feeling...the result was to be announced
tomorrow( some day in 2007)..my mum had asked my dad if my sis were to
get straight a's..without hesitation he nodded and said 8 a's..but
when my mum asked him how bout me..all he could said was 6...he
doesn't believe that I can get the same as my sis..he never believe
me..my sis was always his fav...but in the end my result prove him
wrong!..

Even I don't believe completely in myself..we are only
humans..sometime I doubt myself ..

I'm not super..I'm just average..nothing to "wow" about..compared me
to her??she's definitely a solid 10..brains with beauty...I never envy
her..why would I? She's my sis..she always held my back..there was a
time when I felt that I needed to protect her..keep her away from
harm...then she had to go to boarding school..I felt lost a
bit..during the 15 years of my life..she has always been with me..so I
never get scared..first day at school..yes..she's with me..walking
back home..she's with me..She always believe in me.... Even now I'm
alone here..she's far away in melaca...got to be strong...I only have
myself..

Love ya sis ;D even u are not my real sis but to me u are and will
always be..

Coincidence? Or fate? :D

Coincidence?..or as I thought it is :D all this while I was hoping the
other person to bump into...as u may know in the previous
post...weird..being all lovey dovey recently.. =_=..this is sooooo not
me.....hormones! What are u trying to do??but I hardly..HARDLY..get to
see him..unfortunately for me..it was another person that I kept
seeing..anywhere I go..yes..his there..when im eating..going to pasar
malam..going to class..going back from class..dude..u crushed my
hope! :(boohhoo..

This guy is a year older..but the guy I hope to see constantly is the
same age as me..haish..wrong person at the wrong time? Haha..

This semester I start bumping into that person..I never saw him
before..weird..like his following me or something..naaaah..can't
be..I'm just your average girl..not the one u would fall for
though...who am kidding..

But this feeling..hmph..what??another one??haha..I'm going nuts..maybe
it's the tension this week that's been piling up..

Hmm..wondering if I might see him again tomorrow..;p haha..we'll see..

Farewell and goodnight for now ;D

Don't say no, no, no, no-no

today...i met HIM... :D well its been awhile...since he take different course its very hard to see him now...boohoo...so suddenly this song pops up in my mind... bruno mars - marry you...hahha...the irony of it..gosh..didnt see that coming..well he acknowledge me...he said something..i said something back...then i watch him leave....hmmmph :D so this song goes to whoever...well its kind of dumb to have this song suddenly pops up in your mind when u met someone... :D haha..hope to see u again...

Loneliness

Lonely but sad. Lonely but happy.. Two different meaning behind

it...its lonely but with a different feeling..

Im a quite person..i dont know if i have a best friend..but i do 

acknowledge this one person as the closest to me..but even she do not 

know whats deep inside me..she doesnt know any of the 

heartache...maybe i just never showed it..especially to the one who 

are close to me..

Loneliness is always looking for a friend...it found me once and has been around since then..

the songs to the once 

famous boy band..yes..u must have heard of it..westlife..

What I'm feeling is that lonely but sad..I don't know..I kind of miss 

my sister..she's not always at home..in matrics..holiday is very hard 

to get for her..so I'm the one who is always home..as u may know in 

the previous post I wrote about home sweet home..hehe..

I remember clearly..since we were small we always 

fight...constantly..I used to scream at her..I was really furious..but 

somehow when we were 15 our foster dad got sick..after that we were 

always together....she always held my back..and I held her..when 

everything falls apart..the family..problems...my dad..he changed 

completely to his old self..or much worse..it's hard for me and my 

sister..who can we depend on now?hmmph..couldn't get any better..life 

just get hard..it's been almost 4 years now..sometime this drive me 

crazy....gaaaaahhh..

All in all..I'm still alive....I'm not crazy.. :D hehe..how long would 

it take for me to crack? We'll see how far this go...fuuhhh...inhale 

and exhale..breathe........................

What a day

Yesterday...I watched harry potter..(yay!) it was the last chronicle
of the series from 7 books all together if I'm not mistaken..so this
is a must to watch movie..yes..for u who haven't watch it yet..I
deeply encourage to watch it at the cinema..a worth while movie to
watch.. :D

There are many very interesting movie I haven't watch for the past 2
month..one of it is RED..damn..I miss it at the cinema..didn't get a
chance..was going back to campus..:( boohoo..

So after the movie me and my friends when bowling..well it's been
awhile..and yup..I suck at it..the beginning was horrible..twice in a
row I got zero..curse u bowling ball (yeah..blame it on the
ball :D)but as we get to the final two games I finally managed to get
my mojo on..oh yeah oh yeah! 9/1 then it was 9/1 again..I was good..
Didn't get a 100 for the total though but I got a solid 71..not bad..I
could do worst..

It was already 10 when we finished..so we headed for IKEA..I miss the
meatballs there..I also planned to eat their chicken wing..but it was
finished..such luck..boohoo.. I craved for those finger licking
wings..still..didn't get it..ok..maybe next time :D

Man..I was exhausted..the whole day was a havoc..but it was fun to go
out sometime like this..making beautiful memories to be
preserved..hehe..time to sleep..next week again time for staying up
late!

Fear not chicken wing we will meet again..soon..

a fight to the finish

its been awhile since i wrote anything..as usual..been busy..this week been sleeping late everyday..i dont mind..have to start training myself..i knew now that many people are trying to compete with me..i dont judge people directly..so i assume now since we are in a new semester we are EQUAL..at the beginning together..learning new things together..so theres no many differences..so whats matter is the finish line..i see u later..cause i wont be falling back..:P  yes..its a race to the finish line.. i admit u as a worthy competitor.. so bring it on...

sometimes..i feel disappointed with my past..i am just average..i dont exceed my limit nor get close to it...maybe because there were too many distraction..so i often felt sad and envy my friends who are now thousands of miles away studying abroad..hey i know them..they are great now..but why am i at the back..i dont want to be the last person..i dont want to regret anymore..FIGHT2.. must..i dont want to be left behind anymore....

you and your act

there are many things i can stand and keep it cool..but there are also a few things that i really cant stand...if u dont know me u wouldnt want to get close to me when im angry..i can be more furious than a lion...the king of the jungle cant even beat me..

we can say that we are only human so we are not perfect..yes..i can accept that..but i am also human and i just cant stand people with these kind of attitude..so please accept this cold hard fact..

i do not like, cant stand people who are ungrateful..who do not appreciate what we have done to them..im not asking u to always remember..but dont act like u dont remember..i used to help u alot..most of the time..in time when u are falling im there with u..so atleast acknowledge me.. be kind...dont act like u dont bother about me..i feel that people dont appreciate other people...i do help people sincerely..the best i could at every try...so why do they forget?this is because they dont appreciate..they take it for granted...

i cant stand people who brings people down..in other word like always like always let u down with words or act..i have gotten alot...like what they say.."what doesnt kill u only makes u stronger"..well..i think now i just cant use this encouragement of words anymore..it gets harder every time..why people are so mean??if they dont like the way their life are so why try to bother others??your just jealous with my life..get your own life..well for your information my life isnt perfect..but im trying hard to make the best of it..so please..

yeah..let it out.lately being really down..i hate it..im not strong like i used to be..this is bad.......i might just breakdown anytime...hmmphh

after death

im very sorry for the last post...i explode..that was just a little..u havent seen me at that state..im sure u be scared..well hahaha..i randomly search again through the net and found about this very interesting stuff..ever heard of Cemetery in Yekaterinburg city? u may google it if u dont..yes...why am i saying about cemetery? Halloween is long gone already..hahah..if im not mistaken the city itself used to be known in the 90s as 'the crime capital of Russia'..well if its russia then it is definitely about mafia!..yeah..many mafia leaders lived there..so they also died there...so even after they died their power,control still shown..yes well in the form of sculpted tombstone of themselves..haha..the irony..well a few picture as a proof..:P

so the ever usual RIP is not in use.. :D the bigger the tombstone it shows like the more powerful they are.. well i would want to see it myself..one day..quite eerie..hehe

hear me out..please

there just a few unhappy things i wrote in this blog..that doesnt show at all that i am fully happy with my life..honestly..i am so weak..now easily get teared up of few sensitive things that wasnt a bother before..damn..i hate this part of me..cause i dont want to admit defeat to that selfish good for nothing jerk..im sorry for my vulgar words but i am really angry..i felt like exploding..years of holding in..its always the same excuse..man, i am tired of it..my mind cant adapt to that anymore..maybe because of this i am sooo lazy right now..i should be doing my physic and chemistry..i just feel down...i hate him..i really2 hate him..this feeling will never change...he brought this up to himself..now he is the one that have accept this..cause he never ever going to change.. such a disappointment..i felt i cant live through this life knowing that he will always be there sucking the life out of me..taking my happiness..and thats the main reason that i dont want to go home.. i written about "home sweet home"..this is why..he is the main reason of all..

even before he got sick he still think only for himself..when it comes to family nothing..when it was stranger he was as generous...i remember everything..its like he wanted to make his own family his enemy..yes i am definitely your enemy no! Satisfied!!!???

how long i must go through this?how long must my family go through this? they always say its ok he wont be long so be patient..yes (the same excuse)..but we are only human how long can we put up with this???God...give me strength to live.......i use to think of taking my own life....to that extend that i cant take it anymore...i might just do it..please..please hear me..

the pain is indescribable.. heart breaking

yummy to the tummy

today i woke up very early..(7..ok la?)hehe..normally i never do woke up early if i were at home..i just dont know..werent that sleepy..so the interesting part is at 9 or 10..breakfast time~! i had pancake today..:D home made loving pancake..hmm..yumyum..

fluffy pancake with chocolate ganache on top :D

yummy..the pancake made to perfection..:D and thats a real photo taken by ME..yes..please dont drool infront of the screen..;P later im going to have the Malaysian all best dish which is the Nasi lemak itself...hungry already..haha.yes2..the only best part being at home is to stuff myself with food..even if im not doing it..my mum would force me to eat this,eat that..(typical..mums..worry if their child havent been fed well)
nnnnoooooo~! this is bad..(for me though) cause i will definitely be gaining weight...ggggaaaahhh..bboohhoo..what to do? :D

mentally infected

i always like ne yo songs..like because of you..so sick..mad..sexy love..part of the list and so on but this one song that i dont know i just dont like it..its weird..yeah..but its stuck in my head now :D hahah..damn.. i bet many have heard of this..yes..its 'beautiful monster'..such creativity..yet i really would like if i wasnt been called as a monster though :D what?is the woman that bad? if it was ne yo singing to me me alone yeah why not?;)

enjoy~!

wishing star,wishing well, etc..

well, its normal for human to feel inadequate of something..i wish for many things..:D i think there are so much sometime i just dont remember all of it..but im really am grateful for what i have now..Alhamdulillah..thank u Allah..but at times we do feel certain longing..

Im not an outdoor person yet i still like to do sport..if i were to play handball again i would say yes..a thousand times or more..:Dreally do miss playing it though...even through hard training (15 more laps) it was fun..i longed to play this again...huhu..so in my mind i really wish i could play handball again..

i wish i had a car..eventhough now im still scared to drive alone (even manual..no way im driving!) but i really wish i had a car where i can just drive sometime or even leave it at the gate..hehe:D my mum wanted to buy for me this honda i dont know what year but its old..however it still cool with its fire red colour..juat the way i like it..PERFECT..but i cant due to some reasons..so thats the end of it..

well it suppose to be red..but yes this is the model honda..

teeth.everything that is related to dentistry..i wish i can be a dentist..so why the hell im taking engineering now??boohoo..yes its because im not fully eligible to take this course...this was a long lasting dream that i wish to fullfil..i know im not good enough cause i really dont push myself to exceed my limit..im always staying in my comfort zone..and that is my weakness..maybe in the time to come i will be one..:D

my time to shine will finally come hahaha

i wish i had a passport..so i can travel..duuh..there so many places that i want to go..london(typical)..paris(so cliche)..abu dhabi..dude the place is awesome..i heard theres a ferrari based theme park there..so wanted to go..maybe in the future..:D keeps my head up high now...

there are just to many..i could write for hours of the things i want..but through all of this im utterly grateful for what i have now..:D
  

my memoir as a mindless midget

=) mindless midget? yes.. I was a mindless midget ..
I remember in standard 3, Cikgu Farizam (my class teacher and also my math teacher) have given us a test and i remembered clearly that i was the last one to finish. Everyone had gone home already and still i couldnt answer the addition,subtraction,multiplication (eg. 3x3, the hardest for me at that time). Pity me! =(( cikgu farizam even help me to answer some of the question but i still fail to understand..i guess what was in my head that time was only playing at the park and drawing (with crayon! :D)..damn.. i was that hopeless..
so to cikgu farizam thank u so much for your help and support, i wouldnt be as wise as i am now..such a despair to teach a student as i am at that time..

when im 4 years old i used to eat glue..eeeeuwww..well how would that probably taste..:D

i used to have a robot that my parents bought for me from Mecca, saudi arabia..so everytime i turn on the switch i would ran furiously to hide behind the bed...i was scared that it might want to chase me..well how on earth i would know at that time..yeah..bad idea to give a kid..

i also used to swallow chewing gum..why the hell would i do that??i might just choke!

i used to wish upon a wishing star(well all the star just look the same that time) for a bicycle..a blue one specifically..haha..

eventhough i am like that hopeless..i still enjoyed my childhood...even some of the memories i cant remember..but part of it is still visible..:D

lost in time

im just 18..still young...and i was born 1992...not many people from my age would love to listen to old songs..what i meant was the 90's or 80's perhaps.. :D yes..most will thought it as old school..well im not into the kind of disco rock n roll era songs..just songs like..

A few of my favourites :D
how deep is your love - take that
when i see you smile -bad english
i was meant for you -jewel
at the beginning
beat it - Michael jackson
vertigo -U2
lost in love - air supply
hard to say im sorry -chicago
let it be - the beatles
true colours
the glory of love- chicago
bryan mcknight
everytime i close my eyes - babyface

so the list goes on..but only these i manage to remember now..well i did hear that my generation tend to like old songs,vintage stuff compared to the previous..the more we think of it the future are more attached to the past..the in trend now is just like in the 90s or 80s with the hairdo and fashion..

guys? remember?the bangs?just the same:Dwell they are icons,people tend to follow

its like were going back to the past..we're repeating history..does that sound bad??maybe yes and no..
so i had enough of 'jiberishing' for now..see ya later~!

mixed tape

soap opera~! :D so sometime i do like these kind of stories..(not surprise)..since i was small i have been watching these kind of show..if not with my mum then with my aunt then with my sister then alone..so theres no way i wouldnt see..the first time i saw it was The bold and the beautiful, English, my aunt favourite..well that sort doesnt stick too long for me..then it was a spanish drama, Rosalinda i recalled it to be..haha..amazing..i enjoyed it..:D then there was a korea based drama which is winter sonata...after awhile i moved on to philipino soap opera..then i got bored..it was thailand..the theme song was catchy..i like it..then it was japanese..then back to korean..Stained glass..after that it was Indonesia..i cant really remember all of the title but one of it i do remember and i believe most would know also..Bawang putih bawang merah..haha..the story keeps going on for months..and it always been so cliche..the hero or heroine would probably died and suddenly came back to life or they would loose their memory, and so on..i also remember watching a Cantonese drama before going to bed..its about a princess and prince during the old emperor time..now i guess currently watching indonesian drama Cinta Kirana..haha..

these soap operas makes life look so dramatic..i guess thats why people tend to watch it..:D

random bloopers

I came across a few very interesting movie poster..Say would u be dying to watch this movie if it hit the big screen? :D haha..very classic..i would want to know the ending..

gahh! the glowing brain!

i remember king kong :D

its a cemetery!no its a farm!

pieces of everything..

i know my memory capacity is not strong enough..i could only remember pieces of memories from the past that brings joy to me..the best of the best..and the only i can clearly remember.. :)

the one with me MUMMY!
Well with her there are so many great memories that i can remember..but this one particularly i remember like it was yesterday..I was in standard 3..REPORT CARD DAY..badum!!AHH!!who the hell want to remember that day...haha..i do..for a child at my age wouldnt want their parents to come..well, to my utter horror and surprise i do want my mum to come ..(eventhough i gotten third last in the class..32 if im not mistaken) :) haha..such a mindless midget i was..
my mum came from her office wearing a white kebaya like batik with heels and her white handbag..i can still picture her in my head (only that time she looks younger..heheh..) i remember getting excited and introducing all my friend to my mum..i felt like i was the happiest kid in the world..i even showed her where i sat  in class..haha..i was beaming with pride..i completely forgotten about my report card..it was weird though that i never remember even once she gets angry about my report card..or me getting a D for a test..me failing my exam..me getting third last..she never get mad at me for that.. thanks mummy! love u so much..now, im going to make u proud :)

well this is only part 1..there are more to come..maybe when i have the time i will write some more..been busy you know..college..struggling with life..love??haha..maybe not this time..;)

home sweet home

im not generous in shedding some tears..i cant cry..i dont even want to...so i usually put on the brave face..crying to me only makes me feel weak....not a favourable feeling..i hate feeling weak..feeling vulnerable...gaaaaahhh...

lately..im been feeling really uptight..emotion swirling...total chaos...u really dont want to come close...5 meter? nope..thats just to close...u can definitely feel the vibe..to friends and family..haha.. u know me..  

I've been keeping it to myself for a week then ....puuuffftftttf..explode..ggggggaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh..my insides are pouring...damn..so much pain...

Since i was 15 i never felt home exactly like home...home was suppose to make u feel safe...feel happy...like its the only place where u can find peace...because supposedly there is where your family are...and friends...

So, ever since i went to boarding school i just want to go home..but not exactly the home that i am staying...just want to go back..so bad... anywhere will do..as long as its not my home..i may sound like a trouble kid who plans to runaway...that thought did cross my mind sometimes...but the same i never had the guts to really runaway from home..im just a teenage that time..give me a break...

Now im practically 18..still the same feeling conquer me...i dont feel home even when im at home....very depressing.. i wish i had a place where i truly can feel safe..happy..peace.. 

i wish i had a home... a real home...

working..done that :P

Secret Recipe….i worked there before…and that was 4 months ago…

Secret Recipe…a popular shop that sell the “Finest Quality Cakes”…hehe..promote…

Presenting the staff of Secret Recipe BU2 (4 month ago):-

MR MANAGER

MR FONG!

MISS SUPERVISOR

KAK ZA!

KITCHEN LEADER

MAMI =)

MISS CAKE COUNTER

                           RAJA PUTERI ;P

MR BARISTA

ARIL

MR SO CALLED CHRIS BROWN

                                               ABI!

AND ALSO NOT TO FORGET THE HARDWORKING WAITRESS…..ME~! ;pHEHEHEH..i miss them…i miss working on weekend when we all get tired of waiting for the customer to go when its take away time…i miss the humour there…i miss helping out at the kitchen…i miss going lunch with puteri…i miss mr fong sarcasm…i miss aril annoyingness…i miss kak za asking me to treat her always…i miss abi caringness towards me….i miss mami cheeky character…i miss earning alot of overtime…;Phmmmmmm

life lesson 101

I read a book yesterday…im sure most of u had heard about that book already…

“Tuesdays with Morrie” by mitch albom..one of my favourite book…there are many inspirational and life lesson quotation..so i thought of sharing..if it can boost up my spirit when its down then im sure it will do the same to u..

 

when u read this try to ponder for awhile..

“So many people walk around with meaningless life.They seem half asleep, even when they are busy doing things they think are important. This is because they are chasing the wrong things.”

“The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”

“Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too—even when you are in the dark.Even when you are falling.”

“Everyone knows they are going to die, but nobody believes it.”

“Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.”

There are many more..if these lines catch your eye and touch your heart it is much better if you read the book for yourself…i was overwhelmed when i read it..almost cried also..hehe..i will try to put more of this quotes for all to read and hope it will bring back the spirit in u..to live..

crush like rocks

There you go making my heart beat again heart beat again heart beat again
There you go making me feel like a kid wont you do it do it one time
There you go pulling me right back in right back in right back in
And I know I’m never letting this go
I’m stuck on you
Whoa oh whoa oh
Stuck like glue you and me baby were stuck like glue
Whoa oh whoa oh
Stuck like glue you and me baby were stuck like glue

 haha..:D this song been stuck in my head for the past 1 week..hmph..if only it was like that..although dreams are made to come true..in this case i just have to accept reality…stop pretending..it didnt even started there is no hope even for it to grow… 

i never been like this…being single have always felt ok..coz I’ve got friends and family..i dont feel lonely..i dont feel hurt…when i heard that…i just stop hoping..it hit me hard..

I expected better…so i wont be that disappointed..seriously??? hmph..i guess if that makes u happy..then its alright to let go……u never get to know that i..used to…

blablablabla

This is my third blog..haha..the first one i created i have forget about it until i created my second blog..first it was wordpress then xanga and finally blogspot :D

hope i can maintain this blog compared to my other two blogs..hehe..

now..im practically alone in my hostel..alone here in pj while all my friends are at home with family to celebrate hari raya..boohoo..:(..i had to..because i hope not to repeat the same mistake i did in TGB..i did not push myself to my limit..i didnt even exceed it..not even close..and this is where it takes me... in all of this commotion i am utterly grateful that i was still given the chance to avenged myself.. all in all i just need to get good grades and pointer..i mean really good...

so that is why im still here...huhu..i dont want to look back and regret that i hadnt taken the chance...its alright even if i fall but atleast i tried :D